ALL HANDYMAN PLEASE APPLY

All handymen please apply!  Looking for a handy man, cheap, nice, good looking a plus by not a requirement, prerequisits are knowledge of plumbing and electricity.  Humor an added bonus, but not necessary. Must love dogs. Please help!

Every thing is falling apart.  Its not hard enough to be a single mother but you also have to be a single homeowner and that just sucks.  We haven't had a screen door in kitchen for 6 years so door stays open so flies, mosquitos, bats and other creatures flock to my open door. The ice maker broken for 1 year - it could be an easy fix if someone could just look.  The outdoor hose froze in winter and busted - going on 2nd year.  I need water in my backyard!! I haven't been able to take a bath in 5 years - faucet broken.  Shower leaking 5 years.  Minimal water pressure on cold spout in my bathroom - 7 years.  No chandelier in dining room - 7 years.  Kids do homework in dining room, but who needs light? 

I want a condo.

A Year Behind

I have been feeling rather low this week and the only thing I can pinpoint is that it is exactly a year ago this week that my husband moved out because he was having an affair (little did I know at this point).  This was the beginning of my awful summer last year.  I remember the feelings and the weather.  My kids call it the Depression of '09 and it was! Everyday was drama in some shape or form. I didn't know for some time he was having an affair. I was under the impression he was 'working' on himself! Oh YAH he was!  What kind of woman emails her kids lacrosse coach and says, "do you think about me"? Well, I know all to well what kind of woman does that now. A home wrecking whore bitch!  Sorry, its theraputic to write that!

I save emails.  I don't delete anything but the junk - for no reason really.  And I have the terrible habit of going back a year and reading emails....not good I know, but I do.  Yes they upset me but I also learn things from them that I didn't see a year ago. I learned that my husband hinted to me a few times that he was having an affair if I had read between the lines - I knew there was a friendship...a strong friendship.  I learned that after receiving a 39 page cell phone bill - a cell phone that I got for my husband the day he moved out so he could keep in contact with the kids.  Guess who he called first?  YEP, the home-wrecking whore bitch. Hours upon hours of texts and phone calls, but really they were just friends! Oh, I was dumb... and he is a great liar. The day I got the bill was the day I cancelled his phone!

I shouldn't dwell on the past it only makes me feel the pain again.  In this year I have accomplished a lot for me personally.  I spent a lot of time in therapy and I got back together with my husband!  It was a wonderful three week honeymoon and unfortunately as we all know...honeymoons don't last.  So we are apart again ...now its been 6 months.  I think I can finally say I feel okay with being single...I don't necessarily like it. It really sucks...a lot.  But I know I will be okay and the kids will be okay.  I just have to delete the emails!!

Cheers to a better summer and year ahead!

A Sticky Wicket

How do you tell your boss you need more money? Especially when you are a complete chicken shit when it comes to things like this...I can't even ask for a day off without having an anxiety attack!  This is the first year I haven't gotten a raise...ok I can deal with it.  Well, I can't really - things are really difficult right now.  I am a single mother now which means our income is much less than last year.  I have pondered more than once looking for a new job....ugh.  My medical is thru my Ex and that will stay until we legally divorce.  I am supposed to see the financial side of that in my pay because its a benefit of my job. Health insurance rates climb every year as we all know, but my medical benefit in my paycheck hasn't.  I raised that concern once and was told there isn't any money for that right now.

My roadblocks are more large large cement walls!  I love my job, I love my bosses - they are almost like family.  We are close, but I don't take advantage of that I do my job without complaining .... ever.  My job isn't rocket science but I believe in my company like it were my own and I really enjoy it.  It has been my salvation many many many days! I work Saturdays which I hate and other weekends when necessary. They are very generous to me in other areas - like time.  I can take care of personal things during the day if they come up which is a huge bonus in my  life as a single mother and homeowner. Who even says I would find another job.

The reality is I know there isn't money for me to get a raise - I do the books! I don't want another job. I love my job, but I am scared that I will have to find something else.   Oy its a sticky situation! I need a miracle.  I need someone to give my company a million dollars! and I need my Ex to make more money!! All, so I can stay happy and DAMN that's all that counts right now!!

Dear Daughter

Why do teenage girls have to be mean to each other when they are suppose to be best friends?  They can be manipulative, back stabbing, lieing, name calling little bitches to be blunt! I have been disturbed by this phenomena for many years. I have tried thinking back to my grade school and high school years - a little difficult drumming up that far back. I remember a little back in grade school.  I hung around boys in high school and maybe that's why - I couldn't put up with the drama.  Is it just one of the hardships of growing up?  Do all teenage girls experience this in their lives?

My daughter happens to be the object of one of these mean girls.  I can't stand watching her go through this.  Once a best friend can now no longer be trusted. I counsel her and love her, but it doesn't take the pain away.  If these girls knew how important your girl friendships are when you are 48 would they continue with their behavior. Would it give them pause before they lied, manipulated, or back stabbed their so called best friend.  I tell you I wouldn't live through it.  I think also with today's technology is so easy for girls to do these things. Emailing, texting, iming, fbing...its all so anonymous and unfeeling - not  much is face to face anymore.  Would the mean girls do these things face to face?  I have my doubts.

Hang in there my beautiful, sweet, loving daughter it won't be like this forever.

Who Loves You?

I love dogs!  I really love my dogs!  I have a black labrador, we'll call her Orange (she wants to remain anonymous in blog)  who is 11 years old...we think.  She was 10 for a few years. Do you do that?  I would forget the kids ages too, but they love to tell us how old they are!  I have a two year old Scottish Terrorist (we'll call her Cyrus) - my rescue dog.  Yes, I am all about the animals.  Well okay, I rescued her from my mother and thank god we did.  My mother would have turned her into in a barky, nervous, abnoxious terrier.    For some unknown reason the scotty is the alpha dog and pretty much the boss of all of us.  She demands everything from us and doesn't take "NO" as an answer and we comply fully with her doggy desires.

I have had a few dogs in my life and they have always been my best friends.  I did have a couple of nutty dogs; a beagle and a chesapeake - not so good.  The Chessy ate a hole thru a wall and I came home to find her head sticking out of the house while her body was inside! My labradors have been the best dogs ever.  They are so kind, so friendly and so willing to please. Orange will do anything to get a pet or a hug, but if Cyrus jumps into the middle which she is likely to do, Orange will back away.  Problem with Labs is that they get rather smelly as they age.  My mother likes to say they are rotting from the inside out.  I don't wish to share those sentiments, but sometimes it seems so.  It is hard to brush their teeth - is anyone successfull with this?  Her teeth are black!  You would smell too if you hadn't brushed your teeth for 11 years. Then there is the shedding... jeez Orange's shedding season runs all year. Piles and piles of dusty black hair...in chunks around the house.  Dog ownership at its finest.

Cyrus is young and doesn't have the older dog smells so she gets more attention.  Sad for Orange. Who comes running when we are sad, down in the dumps, sniffling noses from a cold, or just lonely....our dogs.  They always show up at your side at the right time or in my case on my lap or bed!!  They love unconditionally...except I think they are mad cuz the ex isn't around to walk them!

Forward, Backward, Sideways?

I ran across a quote that seemed particularly fitting for my long weekend, "How can I go forward, when I don't know which direction I am facing?" by John Lennon. 

Holidays can be difficult when you are separated for many different reasons.  My reasons happen to be that its just plain lonely and boring!  I am grateful that I have my kids to entertain me...and they do entertain me. Its a time for family events; vacations, picnics, you name it, but I had none of it. I tend to throw myself pitty parties every now and again so bear with me.   A good friend reminds me that I need to reach out when I feel I need someone.  Not so easy.  First of all who wants to hear it? Who wants to hear a friend whine and complain! Occasionally I think that they need to reach out to me.  That has always been my way - people can pull things out of me, but otherwise I am quiet as a church mouse!  I am learning to spew more, but really who wants to hear it?  REALLY?

I was fortunate enough to go to a friends for a BBQ on Sunday with kids.  It was really nice. I haven't been out with these people in more than 8 mos and the first time without the ex - that's a long time to be without your closest friends.  There were times I felt out of sorts...its not easy to jump back in...it really doesn't work that way, but no one understands that unless you've have been through it.  I realize my life has changed in ways I didn't expect or want it to.

I had received some bad financial news the afternoon before party.  It upset me a lot so I might have drowned the problems in some Grey Goose....(some).  Great .. go see your friends you haven't seen in a year and get trashed Gwen!  Good Job! Then you drunk text your ex and have a texting fight until 2am!  I really need to name the texting fights - we have them a lot...not necessarily drunk. Fexting...that's it!

So it was a few things culminating into one evening and BOOM Gwen explosion! So "How do I go forward, if I don't know which direction I am facing?"

Disgusting

Since I can remember I have been traveling to the atlantic ocean every summer. Many of my best memories are of my summers on the beach and in the ocean; body surfing waves, jelly fish in my bathing suit, crabbing and fishing. I have spent a lot of time in South Carolina a home away from home. Traveled for many years to the British Virgin Island visiting my brother on his boat- HEAVEN! I became a Dive Master in my twenties and dove in some beautiful spots like Hawaii and the Virgin Islands. The ocean is very important in my life and to the world.  It's heartbreaking to watch -

And....this is only one of 3,500 oil wells in the Gulf.

http://abcnews.go.com/GMA/video/diving-gulfs-toxic-soup-10735329

Sunshine in a Different Form

I am so sorry for my absence (do you really care?) but I have had a lack of things to say frankly!  Now that I know people read these blogs I have a little extra pressure of being clever and witty!  I may not be a regular blogger this summer my cleverness seems to wane with the weather!  And right now I can't say enough about the weather.  This is my kind of weather (as I sit in an office with one window 3 floors up (sad face)). 

I have blogged about the weather before and here we are again because it is in the 80's and sunny, sunny, sunny! I have felt so good this past month and it directly correlates with three things in my life and that is; the weather, the gym, and a friend! Yes, the dreaded and very much hated gym!  I am not a work-out junkie. I do it very sporadically, but I recently joined a new place which I love. It took me a good 2 months to begin working out once I joined, and I have to thank my new friend, Madcap Comrade. She isn't really a new friend but a re-acquainted friend.  She has been a supporter of me on all angles and most recently gotten me to the gym regularly!  Okay, I may go kicking and screaming but that's part of my shtick!  I feel great, I feel motivated, and I can honestly say I feel happy.  I did gardening this week and fixed up our porch. I am getting back a part of my life that I lost last year. 

So thank you to my two sunshine's in my life; the weather and my Madcap Comrade! Where would I be without you? Can we have a drink now?

Let's Put it Behind

I am having dinner with an old friend that hasn't spoken to me in close to a year. I am a nervous pile and not at all excited about talking feelings and last years events. I just don't know.  Stay tuned! Oh, and to those followers wondering about the party...I have until the middle of June to think about it!! It will be a last minute decision!

GONE FISHIN?

I am reporting in with a serious case of writers block!  I have two posts in the works but nothing to publish. You'll hear from me soon do not despair!!

Invitation to Disaster

An invitation came in the mail today!  Wow I haven't seen something like this since hmmm....I can't remember!  It was addressed to both the Ex and I.  Should we go holding hands and let tongues wag?  I sort of think that this party isn't my scene anymore. I feel out of the loop so to speak.  These people were once good friends, but times change and people lives move in different directions.  How do you handle a party together after a separation/divorce?  I know my Ex will not attend.  He was never the social type anyway and this would send him into sheer panic.   I can hear you all now; hold your head up high and go.  But you don't understand after you go through something like this its not so easy...at all. 

First you walk into a social party such as this - there is bound to be a lot of what I call "fancy's" there - and you feel like everyone is staring at you, then talking about you.  You go immediately to your comfort zone - THE BAR.  Phew you made it there and you can talk to bartender who is always a friend.  You stand by THE BAR and drink ... fast as the nerves are starting to ease thanks to the drink you had before you left and this one.

You make idle chit chat with some of the husbands getting white wine for their wives and most of them don't have a clue about anything so you are safe. Grab another drink and you are ready to explore the crowd...but wait...take a look to see where you are going and where you are avoiding.  Head straight for an easy target.  If its a really good party they have trays of drinks going around the crowd...grab one and go.  Now, you maybe a little sloshy...a little, but you have a smile on your face and your nerves are behind.

You make more idle chit chat with people you haven't seen in a while - probably talking about the kids (a safte topic) while gripping your drinks glass and secretly looking for the passing drink tray. Really no one will notice your eyes roaming around the room....really its okay. The passing tray is close but can you get to her without knocking over a table? Yes, you can if it weren't for those DAMN heels you had to wear (you did have to look your best).  You teedle toddle a bit on the heels trying not to fall ass over tea kettle blaming the mistep on the rug. Okay maybe you are a little more than tipsy or sloshy...maybe you are drunk!  If people weren't talking about you before - they sure are now. Find a safe target and go siddle in on that conversation pretending you have only had one drink.  You realize the party is too stuffy and not fun enough to waste your time and you head for the door!

So should I go?

Imaginery Mother

My mother said to me when I told her I was getting divorced, "Oh, I hope you can meet someone nice." My mother has never been the most supportive in stressful situations. She reacts more with "Oh god now what?" rather than, "oh dear I am so sorry for you. What can I do to help?" I have an imaginary mother in my head and she is very supportive. When kids are little they have imaginary friends, I have an imaginary mother. I talk to my imaginary mother too and she responds!

My imaginary mother brings over dinner when I have to work late. She makes the kids their favorites and always has something for me too. My real-life mother brought over a chicken I had to cook after I had my first child. Since then, nothing. My imaginary mother picks up the kids and drives them everywhere! My real-life mother doesn't. My imaginary mother has us all over for dinner on Sunday. You guessed it...only go over to real-life mothers' on holidays. In fact, we never go over there but for a holiday. My real-life mother lives 6 minutes away in heavy traffic. My imaginery mother comes over a lot to help me with cooking, cleaning and just visiting now that I am a single parent. The real-lifer hasn't seen grandkids since December. No she doesn't work full time, no she doesn't play bridge...she doesn't do anything except take care of my Dad. My beloved Dad has alzheimers and is in a nursing home so really who takes care of Dad.

You can sense I am a little bitter about my real-life mother. She has taught me a very important lesson however, and that is to be more like my imaginery mother than her! Cheers to my imaginery mother!

Stranded in Dream Land

I love my dreams...like some people I have frequent recurring dreams. My worst recurring dream when I was younger was of drowning...not a good one. I would fall off the dock and not be able to swim up but I could look up and see my Dad - then I would thankfully wake up! I now have two recurring dreams going on now; one is flying and the other is (for lack of a better word) stranded! So I did some dream research. Your actions in your dreams parallel how you would respond to stresses in your life.  My drowning dream I do nothing so if I was stressed at age 10 I looked to my Dad to fix it for me.  For any of you who know me well, this was very true!

Flying dreams are interpreted as rising above something in your life and gaining persective. It is showing a personal sense of power if you are controling yourself in flight (uh, not me). But why am I flying above the trees? Because I am being chased! Chasing dreams signify anxiety (check) and insted of confronting the issue I run (check) or fly in my case! Wow, I can think of a few people who are chasing me in my waking life...thank god I can fly away in my dreams!

It is said that recurring dreams are ways your unconscience self sends important messages to your conscience self that you aren't listening.

Dream: Hey, the bill collectors are constantly chasing us how many times do I have to tell you!

Me: I don't give a shit I am getting out of here! (again) And by the way don't answer the phone!

My other recurring dream is about missing my plane.  I am usually in a really nice spot when I miss my plane like Hawii or the Carribbean so I don't care that much, but it keeps happening. I think it means I need to move somewhere beautiful and warm at least that is what I am telling myself! 

I had fun interpretting dreams...think about yours and what they may mean.

The Value of Friendship

The definition of 'friendship' is the tendency to desire what is best for the other. Other traits of friendship include but not limited to sympathy, empathy, honesty, mutual understanding, a supporter in times of good and bad, a good listener, and someone who makes you happy and is there for you when you are sad.

As we age our friendships become fewer but stronger I think. Being single does not help in the frienship department. When you become single you start subtracting friends from your list. Its like a death in the beginning they are hovering (some just looking for gossip) and then poof they are gone! The couples you used to go to dinner with - gone. The girl friends you used to go to dinner with - some gone. Do I carry an ugly cloud around with me? Have I drastically changed? I can still eat, but I have lost my status as a couple.

I have had a draft of this friendship blog for quite sometime. I am really negtive about friends right now and didn't think I should post that. It's true some friendships were destroyed because of my husbands actions and that really was hard for me. On the flip side of that, I have new friends that have filled that void and made me see what it means to be a friend. It is all of the above and so much more. I have an old acquantenance that has blossomed into a great friend, a wonderful supporter, and a good listener. Then there is a friend that is 20 years my junior who is a riot and a half. I love her to death - we get along famously and she is part of the family now. I have my bff from Kindergarten!! We will always be there for each other - thru thick and thin was our saying from long ago and it remains true many many years later. I only wish we lived closer to each other. My life is full of many great friendships of all shapes and sizes.

What prompted me to write and change this post from a negative to a positive was a friend who I haven't seen in probably 20+ years friended me on FB and said I was beautiful! Well that made my day! We talked on FB and texting pretty much the whole day, and here was this friend who hasn't known me since high school saying the nicest most sincere things I have heard in a long time. I was touched by his kindness, sincerity and humor...he hasn't changed a bit. Here's to you Rich!! :) You're the best.

The Short Of It

The theme for my week so far has been "short". I took my dog to the groomers and they gave her the most inappropriate short haircut for a Scottie! We now call her our 'hairless cat". Okay, it was a new groomer, but you don't ever cut a Scottie like that - back to the old groomer for us. Went to get the nails done (again a new guy not my regular) and he did them way way too short. Once again, if you are getting artifical nails you don't want nubs! What is wrong with people? Then at home I get these short answers from the kids, "how was your day"? "fine". I love texting, but I absolutely cannot stand someone who texts back "K". You either expand your thought or you don't text back! Enough with the short of it!

Dating Game

So when do the dates start? What is the appropriate time to be in mourning for your marriage gone haywire? I think I am good...ready for someone to wine and dine me to start. Where does a single woman find such a catch? Not my office as I am the only one in my office. The grocery store is a place I frequent and I haven't met anyone at the cucumbers (Animal House)! Oh, the liquor store is a frequent stop, but I am usually in a hurry to get home with said bottle! It's a conundrum. Interested parties need not apply just call quick...I am 48!

Bad Day

What do you do when your ex says he wants to start 'dating' you? Throw yourself off a bridge, pull all your hair out, say okay, or say go F yourself! Oy vey, just when I was starting to get used to the idea of getting divorced he starts up with this!

Bully for him he's starting to see the light in the error of his ways. It's been a huge battle for me to get over him. We have spent our whole lives together basically...from age 14. That is a hell of a long time. I admit I am not 'over' him and may never be. I lead a simple uncomplicated life and I like it that way! I am not having a good day :)....

Never Feeling Better

Why do women need a nasty sounding name for getting older...menopause? Why does it have the word "men" in there? Do men have a name for when they get older...no I don't think so. If a man went in to their doctor and said, "Gee Doc, I am tired all the time, my hair is thinning, I sweat when I sleep, I am gaining weight, and I am not at all interested in sex." His doctor would commit him. We as women can't catch a break. Just as soon as we start to accept ourselves for what we are, we get the dreaded menopause. We should rename menopause to Never Feeling Better. So if you visited your doctor with the above symptons he wouldn't say, "You are in the stages of menopause". He or she would say, "You are in the stages of never feeling better". Thank you very much!

Salacious Summer

I happen to live in a part of the country that has many seasons. We see it all; sunny springs, fabulous falls, super summers and wacky winters! As we all learned in earth science, seasons are a result of the earths revolution around the sun, but I am not hear to talk about science...yawn. What brings me to todays post is the feelings we get at each seasonal change.

If you live where I do you will be very familiar with Seasonal Affective Disorder otherwise known as SAD. Yep you are sad when you have it. It's when the winters are too long and too cloudy....not enough sunlight in your body can be a reason for depression. You can take Vitamin D and you will feel better - its true I can attest to that.

What I am specifically referring to is that feeling you get when it first snows, or when there is a blizzard raging outside, or the leaves start falling on a crisp cool fall day, or when the buds in trees start popping and everything turns green, or sitting with a gin and tonic on your front porch when its 87 degrees out. Think for a minute on those moments in your calendar, if you are lucky enough to have seasonal changes. Summer is my favorite because I love sun and warmth.

My spring and summer feelings have been altered thanks to my adulterous husband. It was just a year ago that my husband moved out because he was afraid he was going to get caught in this affair of his. It was a year ago that I found out about his affair. It was a year ago that I cried all of June and July. I am not having such warm and fuzzy feelings about my upcoming favorite season. In fact, I am having heart palpitations every night and I am very anxous. All cuz of the weather??

My pitty party ended about a month ago and I am trying to move things in a forward direction. Sometimes I go forward sometimes a step or two back but I refuse to let the weather get me down! Perhaps a move to Antartica (it doesn't get warm there does it)? No not for me, in fact after the kids go to college, I forsee a move to the south for me. What happens in the deep south where there are no seasonal changes? Would you still feel a pull of sorts toward a feeling of good or bad? I think not thats why people always say, "no problem" in the south. No rushing just a sense of calm instead of frantic disorder. That is more my speed....

Be Spontaneous

My life is a routine; I go to work, work a full day, pick up kids, go home, cook dinner, watch TV, and sleep to do it all over again. Routine's are good but routines can be very tedious and boring. I feel my routine is very dull and I love spontenaity... now that I have said that I can hear a few friends yelling, "you do not"! Well I like the idea of it and when it happens and I do it...its really a great thing.

I happen to have had such a Sunday. My very good friend called me and invited me to brunch...a nice brunch at a nice restaurant! No, not a date...a girlfriend outing. We had mimosas before we went, we had wine at brunch! THAT is not in my Sunday routine and it was so good. It felt like it wasn't a Sunday. Except when we went drunk to Wegmans after, I still had to do my shopping!

I decided to make it part of my routine to be spontaneous every now and then. It really set me up to have a good week. Thank you Kate!

In the RED

I am one of those people who has to watch every penny I spend and I struggle for every damn dime. One of the gifts the Ex left me with.....NOTHING. I didn't grow up learning how to make and save my money. My mother was a great teacher of how to spend the money. My father was a great teacher of how to make me happy by giving me money! Love my Dad :). So now at my age I am trying hard to learn to budget. Well, I should have been budgeting LONG ago, but alas there was always someone to rescue me. Not so much anymore.

I got the basics down - the regular things like the car, the mortgage, heat etc....But its the things that surprise me - things for the kids, sports needs, the new spring coat, cute new red shoes, the whatevers. My bank account is always dangerously in the red zone every week. I think I am okay and someone buys an Itunes song for .99 cents and the bank charges me $37 for insufficient funds or I need gas for car. Don't get me started on banks right now. The bank won't give me credit at this point of my life. BUT...they will let me charge on my debit/credit card even if there is no money there.

Being single needs its own line item on said budget - manicures, pedicures, evenings out, outfits for such evenings, wine, wine and plenty of wine. RED wine that is! Therein lies my latest problem, its Thursday and payday is tomorrow which is good. I am afraid to look at my account to see how RED it is. I think its a deep dark red and if it is....the bank will suck all of my paycheck into itself and there will be nothing left for ME or the bills. I can't seem to get out of this hell of RED every week....its a vicious circle, once your in you can't escape.

Hey this morning I found one of those gold dollar coins in the couch! I have one more couch to check...who knows what lurks beyond those cushions. Maybe its a sign my color is turning to GOLD!!

What's for Dinner

What's for dinner are my three most hated words in the english language. For me, dinner time is the most stressful time of my day. As I have mentioned I have 3 children, who have different likes and dislikes.

I get texts during the day, "What's for dinner"? I take a stressful sigh and depending on who its from I may or may not answer. I have one child who wants a well rounded meal, meat, vegetable, and starch. My son basically is a preservative who will be thrilled with anything out of a can that says, Chef Boyardee. My oldest daughter doesn't eat most meats - she decides which ones are grossing her out at the time. Me? Oh, do I have a choice...NOT! And I wonder why my middle is the size of texas. Fish is not on our menu unfortunatley because I didn't feed them fish when they were young.

Then there is the time factor of dinner time. I need meals that I can fix in 30 mins to an hour. The kids and I get home at 5:30 or 6 and they are ravenous and I have to cook not sit down, rest, or watch the news... COOK FAST!

Its dinner time again and I am thinking of healthy, good, quick meals for these varying tastes of my family. Ideas?

Vacation to Reality

I have been back from South Carolina for one full week. We had a wonderful get-a-way or well should I say I had a wonderful time. My teenagers were bored of course. I made it known that I didn't care you can find me at the beach if you are bleeding (more than a tablespoon). Oh, and remind me next year when I plan my wonderful break from reality NOT to take the grateful teenagers!

Coming back into reality is cruel. Bills are piled up, taxes are due and your balance in your bank account is colored RED. Oops over spent a little on the vacation, but while it was happening it was so carefree....who cares lets go eat out! Buy it! Buy another! Drinks for everyone! I still don't understand why the government has to take my hard earned money that I don't have. I am now on a payment plan for the government. Just add it to the pile.

Having an ex can sometimes be helpful while you are on vacation. Mine happens to have some guilt which I am riding on full tilt! Painted the living room, took care of the dogs, steam cleaned the carpets, and cleaned the yard! Mind you I said sometimes. Again coming back into reality is cruel, the ex might have gotten too comfortable in the home! Had to spell it all out once again...no we are not getting back together.

Time the greater healer of all things will once again prevail and next week...the carefree feelings of vacation will be washed away on the beach and my bills will still be there.

Welcome

Are you beaten down by the dregs of life? Do you wake up and say what happened to my life? Well I have and I am going to share some wisdom and insight on being suddenly single! Help .... I would like your valuable insight and wisdom as well!

My name is Gwen. I am 48 with 3 teenage children, a job that I work at 6 days a week, an ex-husband, 2 dogs, and a life that I don't recognize. Do you wake up 5 days out of 7 and not feel you are living to your potential?

Bare with me as I am new at this but I promise you won’t be disappointed. For some reason my life is full, but I have a lot of empty time and a friend suggested I start a blog for a little therapy and she thinks I am funny! You can be the judge of that. My most recent frustration is with my husband well…he is an ex, but not a legal ex. He stepped out on me after 18 years. He was a couch potato never moved and he had an AFFAIR? Who would have thought?

Crap. I have been single for 3 months! Wee…. its not fun. I have a very social event that my friends insist I go to…I love my friends and take their suggestions seriously, but what to wear? I am not a size 6 or 10…maybe a 12 on a good day ♥ So I went shopping today….ugh an utter disaster. Shopping is a way to feel really really bad about yourself as if you don’t already. So I got this skirt I have to hem so I can show off my one good feature – calves. I don’t know how to hem so I am going to glue it…