Never Feeling Better

Why do women need a nasty sounding name for getting older...menopause? Why does it have the word "men" in there? Do men have a name for when they get older...no I don't think so. If a man went in to their doctor and said, "Gee Doc, I am tired all the time, my hair is thinning, I sweat when I sleep, I am gaining weight, and I am not at all interested in sex." His doctor would commit him. We as women can't catch a break. Just as soon as we start to accept ourselves for what we are, we get the dreaded menopause. We should rename menopause to Never Feeling Better. So if you visited your doctor with the above symptons he wouldn't say, "You are in the stages of menopause". He or she would say, "You are in the stages of never feeling better". Thank you very much!

Salacious Summer

I happen to live in a part of the country that has many seasons. We see it all; sunny springs, fabulous falls, super summers and wacky winters! As we all learned in earth science, seasons are a result of the earths revolution around the sun, but I am not hear to talk about science...yawn. What brings me to todays post is the feelings we get at each seasonal change.

If you live where I do you will be very familiar with Seasonal Affective Disorder otherwise known as SAD. Yep you are sad when you have it. It's when the winters are too long and too cloudy....not enough sunlight in your body can be a reason for depression. You can take Vitamin D and you will feel better - its true I can attest to that.

What I am specifically referring to is that feeling you get when it first snows, or when there is a blizzard raging outside, or the leaves start falling on a crisp cool fall day, or when the buds in trees start popping and everything turns green, or sitting with a gin and tonic on your front porch when its 87 degrees out. Think for a minute on those moments in your calendar, if you are lucky enough to have seasonal changes. Summer is my favorite because I love sun and warmth.

My spring and summer feelings have been altered thanks to my adulterous husband. It was just a year ago that my husband moved out because he was afraid he was going to get caught in this affair of his. It was a year ago that I found out about his affair. It was a year ago that I cried all of June and July. I am not having such warm and fuzzy feelings about my upcoming favorite season. In fact, I am having heart palpitations every night and I am very anxous. All cuz of the weather??

My pitty party ended about a month ago and I am trying to move things in a forward direction. Sometimes I go forward sometimes a step or two back but I refuse to let the weather get me down! Perhaps a move to Antartica (it doesn't get warm there does it)? No not for me, in fact after the kids go to college, I forsee a move to the south for me. What happens in the deep south where there are no seasonal changes? Would you still feel a pull of sorts toward a feeling of good or bad? I think not thats why people always say, "no problem" in the south. No rushing just a sense of calm instead of frantic disorder. That is more my speed....

Be Spontaneous

My life is a routine; I go to work, work a full day, pick up kids, go home, cook dinner, watch TV, and sleep to do it all over again. Routine's are good but routines can be very tedious and boring. I feel my routine is very dull and I love spontenaity... now that I have said that I can hear a few friends yelling, "you do not"! Well I like the idea of it and when it happens and I do it...its really a great thing.

I happen to have had such a Sunday. My very good friend called me and invited me to brunch...a nice brunch at a nice restaurant! No, not a date...a girlfriend outing. We had mimosas before we went, we had wine at brunch! THAT is not in my Sunday routine and it was so good. It felt like it wasn't a Sunday. Except when we went drunk to Wegmans after, I still had to do my shopping!

I decided to make it part of my routine to be spontaneous every now and then. It really set me up to have a good week. Thank you Kate!

In the RED

I am one of those people who has to watch every penny I spend and I struggle for every damn dime. One of the gifts the Ex left me with.....NOTHING. I didn't grow up learning how to make and save my money. My mother was a great teacher of how to spend the money. My father was a great teacher of how to make me happy by giving me money! Love my Dad :). So now at my age I am trying hard to learn to budget. Well, I should have been budgeting LONG ago, but alas there was always someone to rescue me. Not so much anymore.

I got the basics down - the regular things like the car, the mortgage, heat etc....But its the things that surprise me - things for the kids, sports needs, the new spring coat, cute new red shoes, the whatevers. My bank account is always dangerously in the red zone every week. I think I am okay and someone buys an Itunes song for .99 cents and the bank charges me $37 for insufficient funds or I need gas for car. Don't get me started on banks right now. The bank won't give me credit at this point of my life. BUT...they will let me charge on my debit/credit card even if there is no money there.

Being single needs its own line item on said budget - manicures, pedicures, evenings out, outfits for such evenings, wine, wine and plenty of wine. RED wine that is! Therein lies my latest problem, its Thursday and payday is tomorrow which is good. I am afraid to look at my account to see how RED it is. I think its a deep dark red and if it is....the bank will suck all of my paycheck into itself and there will be nothing left for ME or the bills. I can't seem to get out of this hell of RED every week....its a vicious circle, once your in you can't escape.

Hey this morning I found one of those gold dollar coins in the couch! I have one more couch to check...who knows what lurks beyond those cushions. Maybe its a sign my color is turning to GOLD!!

What's for Dinner

What's for dinner are my three most hated words in the english language. For me, dinner time is the most stressful time of my day. As I have mentioned I have 3 children, who have different likes and dislikes.

I get texts during the day, "What's for dinner"? I take a stressful sigh and depending on who its from I may or may not answer. I have one child who wants a well rounded meal, meat, vegetable, and starch. My son basically is a preservative who will be thrilled with anything out of a can that says, Chef Boyardee. My oldest daughter doesn't eat most meats - she decides which ones are grossing her out at the time. Me? Oh, do I have a choice...NOT! And I wonder why my middle is the size of texas. Fish is not on our menu unfortunatley because I didn't feed them fish when they were young.

Then there is the time factor of dinner time. I need meals that I can fix in 30 mins to an hour. The kids and I get home at 5:30 or 6 and they are ravenous and I have to cook not sit down, rest, or watch the news... COOK FAST!

Its dinner time again and I am thinking of healthy, good, quick meals for these varying tastes of my family. Ideas?

Vacation to Reality

I have been back from South Carolina for one full week. We had a wonderful get-a-way or well should I say I had a wonderful time. My teenagers were bored of course. I made it known that I didn't care you can find me at the beach if you are bleeding (more than a tablespoon). Oh, and remind me next year when I plan my wonderful break from reality NOT to take the grateful teenagers!

Coming back into reality is cruel. Bills are piled up, taxes are due and your balance in your bank account is colored RED. Oops over spent a little on the vacation, but while it was happening it was so carefree....who cares lets go eat out! Buy it! Buy another! Drinks for everyone! I still don't understand why the government has to take my hard earned money that I don't have. I am now on a payment plan for the government. Just add it to the pile.

Having an ex can sometimes be helpful while you are on vacation. Mine happens to have some guilt which I am riding on full tilt! Painted the living room, took care of the dogs, steam cleaned the carpets, and cleaned the yard! Mind you I said sometimes. Again coming back into reality is cruel, the ex might have gotten too comfortable in the home! Had to spell it all out once again...no we are not getting back together.

Time the greater healer of all things will once again prevail and next week...the carefree feelings of vacation will be washed away on the beach and my bills will still be there.